Q + A with MYSELF (that no one asked for)
guys, calm down!! it’s finally here, the q & a not one person asked for!!
sorry to make you guys wait so long, i know you have all been DYING to know what my morning routine looks like, how managed to graduate from university, and most importantly, why i got put on bar watch for two years on my 19th birthday!
i took to my girls group chat, and said, “ladies, listen up. mamma is about to spill the tEA, hit me with ur questions”. to which they replied, “work busy rn cant talk!”, so ultimately I was left to my own devices to think of questions, for better or for worse (for better).
i wont lie to you, this interview with myself was really eye opening, i learned a lot about myself that i think we could all benefit from. aka, i made enough mistakes for all us, so let’s learn and grow together!!!
Q: Steph, what is something in your personality that you are still trying to unpack and address?
A: the LIE that i am a chill person. i have WASTED so much energy trying to be chill, saying yes to things that make me uncomfortable, hating myself for not being able to go with the flow, having no boundaries whatsoever. this sort of duplicitous nature will catch up on you!!! the amount of times that i have committed to things that i know I DO NOT want to do, only to cancel last minute and be thrown into a self loathing hole for cancelling, or doing ALL THE THINGS and crashing after a week because i am so drained and fragile. allow me to give you an example: music festivals. i have not successfully gone to one music festival, not one, EVER. yet i say yes every time i have been asked!! so i go, i have fun for one night, i drink too much and eat nothing at all, and i wake up, have a full blown panic attack, and call my mother to EVACUATE me from Pemberton (an actual story). i have also cabbed home from squamish music festival, lost my phone and all my dignity and sasquatch music festival. the one common denominator of these events was walking away and thinking “man, music festivals AINT it for me, i should say no next time my friends ask me to go”. long story short, know your limits, dont say yes to thing you know you will hate out of a fear of FOMO.
Q: My boyfriend is squeamish about periods and poo- what do?
A: DUMP HIM !! :) or, scream at him about bodily fluids until he becomes a real man.
Q: How did you know WTF you wanted to do with your life?
A: I didn’t, I still don’t, and I may never. At that is OK!! Life is for living, fuck around with things you enjoy, and always put your work out there. There is a fine line between self expression and self promotion, and the only way you will find the right side of the line is if you flirt with it a little. Do the things that make you feel good, like existentially good, not just good in the moment good. Move towards those things. Find the things that make you feel like you you might just be ok in the end, find out where these things are and where they live, and then stay there. Stay there as long as you can.
Q: How can you be happy when you also deal with extreme anxiety?
A: Accepting that happiness and anxiety are both just a temporary states of emotion, they are not constant, nor do we want them to be! Allowing yourself time to sit in your emotions is SO so so important. When you feel happiness, sit in that feeling, revel in it, explore the happiness, find every nook and cranny of that happiness and fucking ENJOY the shit out of it. When you feel anxious, sit in it that feeling too, explore it, find out why you are feeling anxious, and TRUST that it will be gone as soon as it arrived.
I recommend saying hello to your anxiety, acknowledging its presence in your arms, your tummy, or wherever you feel its grasp creeping in. It can stay a while if it must, the more you fight it, the stronger its grasp will be- it is like a needy boyfriend. Hang out with your anxiety for twenty or thirty minutes or however long you have to give it, and then move on. Pick up a book, but some music on, cuddle your dog, make some food, go for a walk, cry about it to your mom.
Q: When should a girl start dating/ have a boyfriend?
A: Never. But if you must, when you are 50 +.