THE GENTLEWOMAN

I have two copies of The Gentlewoman sitting on my coffee table

They stare at me every morning at 6am while I chug my coffee

And stare blankly at the book I am pretending to read

They make feel kind of bad, with their perfect font and ethereal story-telling

I am certain if these magazines were real life women

They wouldn’t be the type to pretend to read books

They would drink literature like it was water, like they would die in three days without it

I have spent my whole life trying to be a Gentlewoman

Trying to say the right thing and not laugh during sex

Being sure to eat less than my boyfriends and only exhaling when I am alone

Yes! I love playing tennis!

Yes! I love folding laundry!

Yes! I love baking in my spare time!

I am going to throw out my magazines

And replace them with blank journals

I am going to re-write what it means to be good

I am going to fuck your Gentlewoman

And never call her again.